When I started this blog I did it to keep my mother-in-law apprised of happenings in our world. And also to complain about people who are terrible at parking their cars in the parking lot of Joann’s fabric. You know, for important reasons.
And then it satisfied an itch inside of me. An itch for attention. (Yeah, yeah, I admitted it.) And it scratched my itch to write. And then I met Twitter. And got the chance to review exciting products (Pistachios! Credit Monitoring Services!) And got a little caught up in the mommy blogosphere. I made great online friends who became real life friends. I even went to a conference. And it was all fun.
Until it wasn’t. Because at some point the blogging started to feel a bit arduous. Like I needed to come up with something to blog about even when I didn’t have anything. And I stressed about getting posts finished to the extent that I would frustratingly snap at my kids if they interrupted me. Because, I am a mommy blogger thankyouverymuch. Didn’t they understand how important it was?
But, since I’m not getting paid and I’m not seeking fame it turns out I was basically just putting this virtual world of free pistachios ahead of my kids.
One day, Kai asked me if we were going to Disney World someday soon. (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t immediately wish I’d get a chance to review that.) I said I hoped so. And she asked if we go could I promise-promise her that I would leave my computer at home. Because, she said, sometimes all I care about is my computer.
And then I felt like whatever the opposite of mom of the year is. Worst mom of the year, I guess.
Say what you will about kids, but they’re smart cookies. They know that the thing you spend the most time with is the most important thing to you. And so they assumed the most important thing in my life was the thing that really meant the least in the long run.
So, all that is just to say that the reason I didn’t blog last week is because I was busy spending the days with my kids. Talking to them. Teaching them. And taking care of the things they needed most. It’ been hard homeschooling, blogging, taking care of a toddler and being the mom my kids need me to be. I’m generally pretty good at multi-tasking but I think I’ve reached my limit.
Does that mean I’m not blogging anymore? Definitely not. Does it mean I’m going to feel less envious when mommy-bloggers I know get more and more amazing opportunities? I wish. But, it does mean that I am planning to blog when I have something fun to say. And review things that I actually care about (be it compensated or not). And that I’m planning to remember that the mommy part of the mommy-blogger title is one I have only because of the three little ones who mean more to me than anything.
It’s hard for a former super competitive, Type-A personality to say they’re dialing it back a bit. It’s hard for me to admit that I’m okay with not conquering the online world by blogging about my adventures with 3 crazy kids and a backyard full of poultry. But I am. Okay with not conquering the world, that is.
So, while I’m still planning to blog and review and enjoy all the fun that social media has to offer, I’m planning to do it when my kids are sleeping or otherwise engaged. I don’t want them to see me grab my laptop every chance I get. I want them to know that I’d rather spend my days with them than with my computer. And I’m planning on not stressing over coming up with a post every day. And if I go another week without posting, well, that will be okay, too…