I have one major goal when writing customer service complaints. To get results. And if I can get those results while simultaneously writing letters that entertain the faithful men and women who are forced to read tale after tale of angry rants about things beyond their control then all the better. So, when our trip to Wendy’s the other night took a turn for the hilarious I knew that it would be an easy letter to write. Because, I’ll be honest. As creative as I am, I simply couldn’t make this stuff up.
(Here’s the letter I wrote to Wendy’s Saturday night…)
You guys should know. I love Wendy’s. And I love your Frosty’s. So when my husband and I took the girls out for a special family night to see Toy Story 3 we knew that we wanted to treat our kids to something cold & yummy after the movie and a Frosty seemed like the perfect thing. I don’t have to tell you that in this economy we, like many other middle class families, are watching our pennies and only splurging occasionally.
So, when we got our Chocolate Frosty shakes you can imagine our disappointment when they were literally undrinkable. And I don’t mean they just tasted a little unpleasant. I mean my children gagged when they tasted them and my husband and I both spit our the shake before we could even swallow it. They were rancid. Or soured. Or something else that was a whole mess of nasty. It was bad.
And since we had driven through and couldn’t go back I decided to at least give the restaurant a call to let them know that something had gone terribly awry with their frosty milkshake machine so at least the next customer would be spared the absolutely vile experience we had just had.
I swear to you I am not exaggerating when I recount the conversation I had with the manager. I wrote it down because I truly could not believe what I was hearing. It went like this:
Me: Hi, we just visited your drive-thru and got Chocolate Frosty Shakes and I just wanted to let you know that they were really, really gross. I don’t know if the milk is soured or if something went wrong but they were undrinkable. My children literally gagged when they tasted them and my husband and I couldn’t even bare to swallow ours.
Manager: Yes, I know. That is the flavor.
Me: You mean something was wrong with the flavoring?
Manager: No. The flavor of the chocolate tastes bad. We have had other people tell us it tastes like sour vomit. That’s how it is supposed to taste.
Me: Are you telling me that our milkshakes are SUPPOSED to taste like sour vomit?
Manager: Yes. That is the flavor. The Vanilla and Strawberry are okay if you want to come back and get one of those.
Me: Um, well, after having the taste of sour vomit in my mouth I’d really just rather have my money back. Because it was a seriously disgusting experience.
Manager: Well, I can only give you a milkshake of another flavor because that is how the chocolate is supposed to taste. It just has a kind of gross taste to it.
Me: **nearly speechless** So, let me just get this straight. You are the manager and you are telling me that the fact that my milkshake tasted like sour vomit and that I literally had to pull over my car and spit it out is normal and how it is supposed to be and that my only option is to drive back and get a Frosty shake in another flavor?
Me: Okay, then, well I guess there is nothing else you can do for me.
Manager: Okay, have a good night.
I am so not kidding about that. I mean, I wasn’t even the one who brought the term “sour vomit” into the conversation. I honestly kind of wish they’d just change the name of the shakes to “Sour Vomit Frosty Shake” instead of “Chocolate Frosty Shake” so the customers are at least informed about what they’re ordering.
I actually ended up receiving an email from Wendy’s within 24 hours (and on a Sunday!) of writing that letter. The manager of our Wendy’s assured us the Sour Vomit is actually not the intended flavor of their chocolate shakes and offered us a full refund and replacement Frosty’s of our choice. I must give credit where credit is due and say that I’m amazed at the speed of their customer service department’s response. Good job, Wendy’s!