Life has been busy and good and hard and crazy and boring all at the same time. I think that is what is means to be a mom. Or maybe just what it means to be a human.
Either way, when I sit down to blog it seems like I have nothing to report and everything to report. My life is so busy in the seemingly mundane stuff (homeschool, cook, clean, appointments, repeat) and none of it feels very blog-worthy or exciting. And most days I’m dead tired by 8pm (though not tired enough to go to sleep until 2 am) and I get right up the next day and go about my business and focus on getting through the week.
But, as is typical every New Year, I feel myself being a bit introspective and evaluating what has worked and what hasn’t throughout our last trip around the sun. We’ve successfully sustained 5 kids for the last year so Yay to us for that. And we’ve paid the bills and had some creative time and fostered new friendships. Our word for 2016 was CREATE. Our family chose that word together so we could focus on creating community, friendships, art, handcrafted goods, opportunities, new skill sets, and whatever else we felt lead to create. It was a good word. It was a good(ish) year. It could stand to be improved upon and I think 2017 is just the year to do it.
I don’t like New Year’s resolutions (or revolutions as Traveler calls them) but I do have some goals for this year. I’m feeling like CHANGE is the word for 2017. Some of the change will be self-directed (healthy lifestyle changes, creating emotional margin) and some will just be inevitable (moving to a new home and all that goes along with that).
One of my big goals is to get out of the “let’s just survive the moment” mentality that I get stuck in. I’m not gonna lie, 75% of my life is chaos that I am just trying to manage. I’m talking about kids, animals, therapies, doctors appointments, fingers stuck in car doors, spilling fake Halloween blood all over the leather seats in my new van kind of chaos. You know, standard stuff. And I just want to survive most days. But I get this sense that by forgetting to be present I am missing out on the really good stuff. The snuggling on the couch at 3:30 in the afternoon just because we can and the siblings making special breakfasts for each other because they’ve been spending their TV time binge watching Master Chef Jr. Those things are ordinary and quiet and good and special. My biggest struggle is that in my rush to move forward I forget to keep still and see them.
I’m changing that this year. I’m going to change my habit of survival mode mentality. I’m going to be present and love the little things. I’m going to look for them. And I’m going to take a page out of my friend Katie’s book over at Mama The Reader and create a gratitude jar. A place to collect those moments to cherish for later. A place to collect the good for our whole family. And a place to teach my kids to start looking for those moments early on in life.
We’re on the move a lot in the Loving family and we could stand to keep still for a bit. Ironically, in this year of change with a literal move looming in the Summer months I am vowing to keep a slow steady beat going in the pulse of our family. I am choosing to work toward a slower and happier pace in those moments when it really matters. This season of life is moving at a break-neck speed and I can’t do much about that. But I can work to cherish where it matters. And that is going to be my change for 2017.
(Also, this post started out as a simple photo dump of some of the moments from the last few months but then apparently my brain needed to unload as well. Here’s some random moments from the holidays that have been simple but also kind of lovely.)