Hooray for back to school time! Looking forward to this being a productive and exciting homeschool year…
Okay…its been a long, long time since I blogged. Here’s what you missed:
Juniper’s first Halloween (she was an owl!)
And Traveler was Braveheart…
My obsession with painting peg dolls for our handmade Christmas!
2012 started with a bang and its been one wild and crazy ride but we managed to sneak away to Disney for a few days.
We’ve celebrated birthdays for Traveler, Juniper, Kai and after one more birthday (Ivy!) in a few weeks we’ll get ready to plan the big summer birthday bash. I can’t wait to plan the party this year!
I’ve missed this space so much for the last few months and since my super sweet & talented husband gave my blog a make-over I thought it was about time I sat down and updated. I keep promising myself I will be better about updating. And hopefully it’s a promise to myself that I will finally keep…
Here’s the thing I’ve learned in the past few months. Blogging is a lot like friendship. Both can be killed by dishonesty.
You see, something happens when you’re used to being fully transparent and you decide to dial it back. This big huge elephant enters the room. And it won’t leave no matter what. And suddenly talking about other things just seems pointless when there is this big huge thing you’re avoiding talking about. And so, you stop talking as much. Or at all.
I’ve got my own elephant in the room with me lately. Something I’ve been keeping from you. Something I’ve been keeping from lots of people, actually.
It’s nothing horrible or tragic or terribly dramatic. But its a secret I’ve had nonetheless. And secrets, as it turns out, are bad for blogging business.
Here’s my secret:
After a less than wonderful (and totally unnecessary) induction with our first child and two follow-up C-sections, we are attempting to have a home birth this time around.
Wow. Those words look a lot less scary on the page then I imagined.
Home births are controversial stuff. And there is a certain segment of the population that is nearly guaranteed to think you’ve lost your ever-loving mind if you decide to have one. (Hi, mom!) If you’re having one after two C-sections people tend to think you’re even crazier. (Though even ACOG is endorsing a trial of labor after 2 C-sections now.) And, so, I haven’t said anything about it to you guys. Or anyone else for that matter.
After we decided to go with a home birth, my plan was not to tell anyone unless they specifically asked. My response to the question of where we were having the baby was always, “Well, the OB who backs up my midwife delivers at such & such hospital. So, if we use him it looks like we’ll be there.” Not a lie. But not 100% the truth.
But, here’s the thing. I hate keeping secrets. It feels so much like lying. And 7 months of home birth prep have been interesting. There is a ton of fantastic blog material just waiting to burst out from this type of experience. It’s just hard to talk about when you don’t relish the idea of people thinking you’re a lunatic. I’ve explained it this way to the few people I’ve actually fessed up to – I’m crazy enough to think this is a great idea and mainstream enough to realize how crazy it sounds. Its not a comfortable place to be in.
Nonetheless, I’m trying for a home birth. And, despite my reluctance to shout it from the rooftops, I’m thrilled as can be about it. And nervous. And praying I can actually accomplish it without having to go into the hospital mid-labor. In other words, there has been a lot on my mind.
By this point, you’ve probably fallen into one of three groups. 1) People who think I’m insane. 2) People who think I’m doing a great thing for my baby. 3) People who wonder what they ‘re doing on this blog in the first place. If you’re in one of these groups, believe me I can totally relate. I’ve thought all those things at one time or another.
In the end, this is the choice we are going with. My prenatal care has been nothing short of amazing and the only thing I feel has been lacking is the frustration of sitting for hours in a doctor’s waiting room only to be rushed through my appointment. I’ve had ultrasounds, lab work, necessary blood tests and everything I would have gotten in a more “normal” situation. I truly believe my midwife is an incredibly capable woman and my faith in her is absolute. Now, I just need to work on having faith in my own body’s ability to birth this baby. After three births full of medical interventions it is taking a lot of reprogramming to understand how birth actually works and to redefine my ideas of normal. But, it has been an amazing learning experience and regardless of whether we have a successful home birth or end up in a hospital due to circumstances beyond our control this process has been both educational and empowering. It isn’t a journey that is for everyone but it is the right journey for me at this time in my life. And I can’t wait to follow it through to its completion.
I should mention that it took me 30 minutes to write this but an entire week to work up the nerve to hit publish. I can be such a scaredy-cat about honesty sometimes…
I love first birthdays. And Traveler? He loves first birthday cupcakes.
For more Wordless Wednesday head over to 5 Minutes for Mom!
I’ve been so unplugged lately from the whole online world. It hasn’t been intentional. I’ve just been a bit…preoccupied. Kai started back to school. Traveler is on the move. And Ivy has been keeping me busy with all her crazy shenanigans.
Since I’ve been away I’ve been super productive, though. And here’s the proof.
Things I’ve done since being unplugged from my computer:
1. Talked to my kids in person. With words.
2. Laundry. Sort of. (I know I did at least one load about a week ago. That counts, right?)
4. Chased a very mobile 9-month-old throughout the house and realized just how many choking hazards we seem to have around here. This place is in need of some serious baby proofing.
5. Watched the new season of Celebrity Rehab.
6. Broken up 65,254 bickering fights between Kai and Ivy.
7. Developed quite the obsession with Teavana teas thanks to a very cool Christmas present from my husband. It’s my new favorite thing!
8. Started going to a new women’s Bible study where they provide childcare so I can talk to grown-up mommies during the day.
9. Rejoined our gym. (Though we still haven’t gone yet.)
10. Learned to play the flute. (Just kidding. Thought I’d see if you were still paying attention.)
Okay, so I’ve actually only been “productive” if you define that as sleeping, talking, and watching TV. Baby steps, y’all. Baby steps.
I could say I’m swamped with holiday plans (I am) or busy baking and spending time with my kids (which I also am) but the truth is even with all that going on I’d still find a way to sneak online and blog, Twitter, and Facebook while everyone was sleeping.
So why aren’t I blogging, Twittering or Facebooking like a mad woman? Because Ivy spilled chicken noodle soup all over our modem thus ending our internet service until it gets fixed.
So, until they de-noodle my modem I’ll be confined to blogging/Twittering/Facebooking from my Blackberry. And I’m thinking I’ll use this as and excuse to unplug from the internet and enjoy some uninterrupted famly time…
Yesterday was Kai’s kindergarten Christmas party. The Christmas party that I apparently signed up to organize on my own. I must have been drunk that day. Or insane.
But, in charge I was. And I made the best of it. I was nervous since (despite being a homeschooler myself) I am totally terrified of other homeschool moms. They seem so smart. And organized. And not at all the type of people who would go out in public without a bra on. But, I put on my big girl panties and went with it. I even picked up adorable and appropriate penguin cupcakes and not the baby Jesus in the manger cupcakes I wanted to make when I found out it was a “No Santa Allowed” party. It was (shockingly) a success.
I will say, though, that class parties are rife with blogging material. That’s right, I said it. Rife.
Because yesterday in the middle of the party I had a most unexpected encounter. It was, in a word, spectacularly stunning. Okay, that’s two words. But, still. It was.
I was standing by a couple of the kid’s tables and holding Traveler when a very sweet, very well-dressed, and very WASP-y mom came over to fawn over my boy. I smiled when she came to see him. Fawning women is part of the territory when you have a delicious and cuddly little boy.
Very WASP-y mom with an “old money” Southern accent: “Oh my Lord. What a precious little boy. May I hold him? Will he let me? He is just too cute not to cuddle.”
Me: “Of course! He loves to be held.”
Her: “What a cutie. Such pretty skin. You know, my daughter just keeps begging and begging me to adopt a black baby. A black baby! How funny is that? She wants one so bad. I think she thinks it would be fun to play with an afro. And there are plenty of them out there to be adopted. But, I just can’t convince my husband.”
Me: (Stunned silence.)
Her: “I just love those eyes and skin. Seriously, he is a doll.”
Me: (Wondering if I really just heard her talk about getting a “black baby” for her daughter like I talked about getting a kitten for the girls for Christmas.)
Her: “Here you go. Enjoy that sweet boy!”
Me: (No, seriously. Did she just say that? Out loud? To me? I am so blogging this. And also I may be too shocked to even be offended. Maybe. Maybe not. But either way I am so blogging this.)
I honestly didn’t know quite what to say. But I do know that next time I go to a school party I am totally wearing a wire.
I haven’t had a chance to brag publicly about my super cool rock star sister, have I? Y’all, she is the bomb. The bomb. I’ve gotten a chance to listen to the songs she’ll be releasing after the first of the year and I can’t wait to share them with everyone.
And just in time for the holidays she’s got some great FREE Christmas downloads on her site. Head over to Eddysthename.com and check out her music. Download her free Christmas music and be sure to check back after the first of year because she’s got something really cool in the wings. You won’t want to miss it!
Is this a boy thing? To be up and cruising the house on two little legs at the tender age of 7-months-old? Because neither of my girls were quite this accomplished in the mobility department so early and I wasn’t prepared to be chasing this little guy so soon!
Even still, I think he looks darn cute doing it!