Kai has been having a hard time lately with what she calls “bad thoughts.” Bad thoughts include things like mommy is mean, mommy’s hair looks “hideous,” mommy’s rules are stupid.

Ivy, on the other hand, is the Eddie Haskell of the family.  When Kai says, “My bad thoughts are making me think you look fat in that sweater.” Ivy inevitably says, “Well, I love that sweater, mommy.”

What’s weird about Kai’s “thoughts” is that she knows these things are wrong to say and so she always tells on herself. I feel pretty confident that it is an effort to get more attention. It wasn’t long before she had a theory for why she was thinking these things. It was, of course, the devil that was putting bad thoughts in her mind. Which is just…great.

Can I tell you how much I do not want to hear my 5-year-old tell me that the devil is controlling her thoughts? So much. I think, though, that she thinks if she says the devil put those thoughts in her head that she gets off the hook. But, it doesn’t quite work that way around here.

Ivy, being in all ways contrary to her sister, has her own way of handling this situation.

Ivy: Mommy, I think you are the most beautiful mommy ever.

Me: Thank you, Ivy. That is so sweet.

Ivy (smiling proudly): You welcome. The nice devil put that thought in my mind.

Great. It’s like The Omen meets Sesame Street around here. Maybe I should get out the anointing oil…