1. Keepers at Home: Thanks to Dawn I’ve been introduced to this cool program that combines Girl Scouts, 4-H & life skills for girls. I’m starting a group with the girls and we’re going to be learning cool new skills. I’m totally excited!

2. Food, Inc. This documentary is amazing. Thomas and I watched it last week and it has completely changed the way I’m looking at food. I picked up Michael Pollan’s Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual, too, and although we haven’t totally given up processed food (it’s only been a week!) we’re definitely reading labels more carefully and buying organic whenever possible. It’s going to be a long process but I’m excited about feeding my family better foods.

3. Girl Scout Cookies: Okay, this probably seems ridiculous after what I said above but if I cut out bad food everywhere else then I can eat Girl Scout cookies without too much guilt, right? Kai has been selling cookies this year and set a goal for herself of 500 boxes. That’s a lot of boxes for a 5-year-old. And that means selling Girl Scout Cookies has become my new job.

4. Savoring my offline time with the kids: I haven’t been blogging and Twittering as much lately because I’m just enjoying spending time with my kids in real time. If there was one thing I heard over and over from my girls lately it was, “Please don’t get on your computer.” or “You’re always on your computer!” The tipping point was when we were discussing a trip to Disney and Kai said, “But when we go there are no computers allowed.” I decided to finally start listening to what they were saying. And I’m trying to get online primarily when they’re asleep. It’s a change we’re all enjoying.

5. This cupcake icing smile. Really, what’s not to love?

I’ve tackled my vaccine debate. I’ve admitted to feeding my 5 month-old quinoa baby food that apparently led to a vomit attack. I’ve confessed to going to a respectable social function looking like a no-shoe-wearing hippie because I forgot my shoes at home. (Wait. I haven’t? Remind me to blog that one later.)

And now? This is where I tell you that we’re drinking raw milk. **GASP!!**

Oh yes we are. And not only are we drinking raw milk, we’re drinking illegal raw milk. **DOUBLE GASP!!**

Well, actually, I guess the milk itself isn’t illegal. It’s just how we’re using it. Technically this milk is sold for pets. Because I love my cats enough to spend $7 a gallon on their milk. Yeah right.

I’ve been hearing about the health benefits of raw milk and have been contemplating making the switch for a while now. Because I wasn’t sure if the $7/gallon price tag was worth it. Until Thomas and I saw Food, Inc. the other night. And I read Michael Pollan’s Food Rules. And now? I’m out to find the least processed/most farm fresh food I can find. And raw milk was part of that change.

Now, I don’t drink milk. Ever. I thank blame my mother for that. When I was a kid I hated milk. So my mom wrote a note saying I was terribly allergic and was therefore the only elementary school kid allowed to drink the sweet tea from the teacher’s lounge at lunch. Which, shockingly, did not guarantee my popularity among the other kids. Go figure.

But I make my kids drink milk whenever I get the chance because I think it’s probably better than Diet Coke. And though I’m a southern girl born & raised I stop short of putting Coca-Cola in their baby bottles.

All that is just to say that you’re not going to get a taste review from me on the raw milk. But my husband and kids insist it is so much better than the regular organic milk we’ve been buying. It is, according to them, sweeter, creamier, thicker, and all around more delicious than any other milk they’ve tasted. And apparently raw milk is actually so nutritious you could live on it and it alone for your whole life. Which is pretty stinking cool.

As for the illegal stuff, well, I guess buying “pet” milk and feeding it to my kids is no more illegal than if I went and bought Fancy Feast to serve to my family for dinner. And, really, who hasn’t been there before, right?

Remember this?

I knew it was just a matter of time before I was forced into a horribly awkward situation. And it finally happened.

Because my daughter’s bestest friend in the whole wide world a.k.a. the daughter of my mortal enemy  (pardon the over-dramatization) invited Kai to her birthday party. And so the gauntlet was thrown down. As I saw it I had exactly two options:

a.) Go and fake being an emotionally healthy person so my daughter can go to her BFF’s party.

b.) Be a terribly petty person and not let my daughter go because I can’t deal with confrontation.

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t loving my options.

But in a quest to become a healthier, better person I RSVP’d yes to the party and planned to take Kai with a big (fake) smile on my face. At least until the night before the party. At which point, I began to beg Thomas to stay home from work so he could take Kai (it was a weekday party).  He agreed to do it but I’d have practically had to sell my soul to him for it to happen. He was asking for some big compensation. And I considered it. Boy, did I consider it.

But, in the end, I went to the party. Which was either because I’m becoming a spiritual giant or because I didn’t want to “give up the goods” to my husband every single day as many times a day as he requests for 30 days. (Hint: It wasn’t that I was becoming a spiritual giant.) I told you he was asking for a lot. I guess he knew what it would take to get me to be a big girl and take our daughter to the party.

And a crazy thing happened at the party.

I was nice. She was nice. And suddenly the whole situation got much less terrifying.

Don’t get me wrong. I doubt we’ll be spending Girl’s Night Out together painting each other’s toe nails and curling each other’s hair, but we were civil. Actually, we were even better than that. We were tentatively friendly to each other. And that’s a pretty huge step for me.

So, even though we won’t likely be best friends any time soon at least we can be big enough to let our girls be best friends and not let our past get in the way of their future.

I’ve been so unplugged lately from the whole online world. It hasn’t been intentional. I’ve just been a bit…preoccupied. Kai started back to school. Traveler is on the move. And Ivy has been keeping me busy with all her crazy shenanigans.

Since I’ve been away I’ve been super productive, though. And here’s the proof.

Things I’ve done since being unplugged from my computer:

1. Talked to my kids in person. With words.

2. Laundry. Sort of. (I know I did at least one load about a week ago. That counts, right?)

3. Slept.

4. Chased a very mobile 9-month-old throughout the house and realized just how many choking hazards we seem to have around here. This place is in need of some serious baby proofing.

5. Watched the new season of Celebrity Rehab.

6. Broken up 65,254 bickering fights between Kai and Ivy.

7. Developed quite the obsession with Teavana teas thanks to a very cool Christmas present from my husband. It’s my new favorite thing!

8. Started going to a new women’s Bible study where they provide childcare so I can talk to grown-up mommies during the day.

9. Rejoined our gym. (Though we still haven’t gone yet.)

10. Learned to play the flute. (Just kidding. Thought I’d see if you were still paying attention.)

Okay, so I’ve actually only been “productive” if you define that as sleeping, talking, and watching TV. Baby steps, y’all. Baby steps.

Kai has been having a hard time lately with what she calls “bad thoughts.” Bad thoughts include things like mommy is mean, mommy’s hair looks “hideous,” mommy’s rules are stupid.

Ivy, on the other hand, is the Eddie Haskell of the family.  When Kai says, “My bad thoughts are making me think you look fat in that sweater.” Ivy inevitably says, “Well, I love that sweater, mommy.”

What’s weird about Kai’s “thoughts” is that she knows these things are wrong to say and so she always tells on herself. I feel pretty confident that it is an effort to get more attention. It wasn’t long before she had a theory for why she was thinking these things. It was, of course, the devil that was putting bad thoughts in her mind. Which is just…great.

Can I tell you how much I do not want to hear my 5-year-old tell me that the devil is controlling her thoughts? So much. I think, though, that she thinks if she says the devil put those thoughts in her head that she gets off the hook. But, it doesn’t quite work that way around here.

Ivy, being in all ways contrary to her sister, has her own way of handling this situation.

Ivy: Mommy, I think you are the most beautiful mommy ever.

Me: Thank you, Ivy. That is so sweet.

Ivy (smiling proudly): You welcome. The nice devil put that thought in my mind.

Great. It’s like The Omen meets Sesame Street around here. Maybe I should get out the anointing oil…

It’s been quiet around this place for the last week. I keep meaning to blog about Kai’s assertion that the devil is controlling her thoughts (which is NOT as scary or disturbing as it sounds) or how Traveler is on a sleeping strike and refuses to sleep more than 45 minutes at a time unless he is cradled in someone’s (read: my) arms but every time I sit down to write I just…don’t.

I have drafts. Lots and lots and lots of dry, boring, mediocre drafts. But I’m stuck. I’ve got a pretty bad case of writer’s block and I’ve been struggling with it since Thanksgiving. For me, the more I blog the more I have to blog about. However, taking a break for the holidays? It totally messed with my blogging mojo.

So, I’m trying to get back in the swing of things both here and on Twitter. You might have to bear with me as I struggle through a few posts until I get my writing feet back under me.

In the meantime, care to tell me your favorite remedy for writer’s block? I could use all the help I can get!

There is an important lesson here. Never let a blogger bake your Yoda cake. At least not this blogger.

My husband loved it because he is contractually obligated to. The kids, on the other hand, were less kind. Still, what it lacked in looks it made up for in taste. So at least that’s something.

Don’t you hate it when you’re trying to get back on anti-depressants after making the disastrous mistake of self-weaning and you have to call your doctor to prescribe them again after several months off and you wait and wait all day long for her to call you back but you finally have to go to Target on a desperately urgent mission to pick up the leopard print Snuggie you didn’t get for Christmas and your doctor picks exactly that moment to call you while you’re browsing in the greeting card aisle so you have to stand there and describe how all you do is scream at your kids all day and stay asleep until 10 am and the whole time you’re talking you’re being stared at and judged by the woman across the aisle who is so on top of things in her life that she is already browsing for Valentine’s Day cards in January?

And you know she can hear you because you’re having to practically scream to be heard over the roar of your clearly unruly children and so you’re smiling this ridiculous smile so she thinks your totally sane but the smile coupled with your account of how hormones are turning you into the world’s worst mother makes you look a bit maniacal and then you realize she has pushed her cart away as fast as her little feet can carry her and you’re secretly glad that you totally ruined her Valentine’s Day shopping mission because it is January after all and is she in some insane contest to be the first person in the city to buy Valentine’s day greeting cards?

I’m not the only one who has days like this, right?

Kai and I used to watch John & Kate + 8 together sometimes. It seemed like a much better idea than the time I let her watch that episode of Hoarders with me. Though I suspect now she’ll never let her room get so messy we find a dead cat buried under Barbie clothes so at least there’s that.

But just recently she asked why we couldn’t watch Jon & Kate any more. And I explained why in a vague way. If you know anything about Kai you’ll know she is completely unsatisfied with anything vague. So, we talked a little about divorce. Which she doesn’t understand and hadn’t really heard of since no one in her daily sphere of family is divorced. Apparently I butchered the explanation. And thanks to this little exchange I got to overhear the following Barbie conversation:

Kai (imitating a man’s voice with her Ken doll): “Hey, Barbie. I think we should get a divorce.”

Ivy (in a falsetto Barbie voice): “A what?”

Kai (as Ken): “A divorce. It’s where we decide to stop loving each other. I’ve already decided to stop loving you so you should stop loving me so we can get a divorce.”

Kai (whispering in her normal voice): “Just say okay, Ivy, so they can go ahead and get divorced.”

Ivy (again with the falsetto): “Okay.”

Kai (as Ken): “Great. So now we’re divorced. Want to help me pick out a new girl to marry? And you can pick any of the other boys.”

Nice. Looks like I’m going to have to figure out how exactly to explain this in a way that sounds different than exchanging pants at Old Navy.

According to my blogging records, I blogged fewer times this past December than any December in the last 3 years. And if I’m being honest, it was awesome to take a bit of a break. But I missed this place of mine. I missed it a lot.

So, it’s a new year. Which feels like a relief because I was so over 2009. And I think I’d be a bad blogger if I didn’t do some sort of 2009 wrap-up post at some point. I guess it’s kind of required for all bloggers.

2009 was a wild year. But, I could probably say that about every year for the last 4 years. We’ve had a strange run of crazy luck for these past 4 years. I’m hoping that 2010 is the year to give us a little peace. But, I’m not holding my breath.

So, where was I? Oh, right. 2009. Here are my 10 most memorable parts:

1. Traveler Oakes Kekoa Loving. Hands down the best thing to happen to us this year.

2. A surprise pregnancy and a heart-breaking miscarriage both served to remind us that God is with us in everything that happens.

3. We became a two car family again. Thank God.

4. The girls had a totally fun Pow-wow Birthday party with real live ponies!

5. Kai started Kindergarten at the homeschool academy and I began homeschooling for real with her on a daily basis.

6. We took a fun trip to Indiana with my mother where there was plenty of the obligatory Lucy and Ethel style shenanigans.

7. We had our annual Thanksgiving Warm-up with friends. And spent real Thanksgiving at the beach with family.

8. I turned 30. An event I was neither thrilled nor gracious about. (In fact, I didn’t even post anything on it because I was dreading it so much.)

9. I started studying to become a Birth Doula which I am totally thrilled about. (Though I failed to blog about it, too.)

10. We made our first two trips to the ER. Something I’m hoping not to repeat in the near future.

That’s it. Our 2009 in a nut shell. And now I’m looking forward to all the possibilities of 2010.

Happy New Year!