Life is funny. Except when you’re the person its happening to.

Let’s say there was this hypothetical couple. Let’s say they depend on one person’s job and perhaps things have been a little tense at work. Let’s say the breadwinner in said family became (even if temporarily) very unhappy in his workplace dynamic. And let’s say that said breadwinner has a horrible day. A really, really horrible day. One might say a crappy day (though hypothetical wife would actually probably say something worse, but crappy will suffice). Let’s say after this particularly bad day they have a bad dinner at a restaurant that is having a bad night and they come home to get their kids ready for bed. Let’s say as they are discussing their respectively horrible experiences for the day, their youngest decides the tub should become a metaphor for her parents’ day and accomplishes this by literally translating into the tub the “crappy” day that she’s heard her parents discussing. Let’s say her parents decide to pack up and move rather than cleaning it up.

Anyone looking for a house? or two kids?

I couldn’t resist sharing the one that she said at lunch today:

Dear God-

Thank you for this food and this family. And, God, please let Sunday be my birthday because I really, really want it to be my birthday.

Amen.

–

Hey, God, if you’re so inclined I’d really like it to be my birthday, too…

Kai has this new habit of running and jumping onto her dad’s lap. It’s sweet, really, except sometimes her aim is not so good - or too good depending on how you look at it. Thomas keeps telling her she has to be careful when she jumps on him (especially if she wants anymore siblings). So, the tonight at Jumpin’ Jacks Playland Kai came over and landed knees first into her dad’s lap. Not good. He asked her again to please be careful and I, tired of skirting the issue, decided to take her aside and explain exactly what was going on. I reminded her that boys and girls are made differently and that boys have extra parts that can get hurt when someone hits them or jumps on them. She looked at me knowingly and seem to completely understand. I was really proud of both of us for handling it in such an up-front, grown-up manner. That is, until she walked over to her daddy and announced loudly and apologetically, “Hey, Dad, I’m sorry for jumping on you. I know you have a long thing there. Sorry.” To which Thomas replied, “Um, okay. Go slide.”

That’s had me giggling all night!

Hiro has been living outdoors lately. By lately I mean, the last 6 months. But, when we brought her home we never intended for her to live outside and I’ve always felt guilty about it. We’ve just been a little overwhelmed with two kids and work and having our big lovable oafish puppy in the house just seemed like the least logical thing to do. But, as the nights have been getting colder we decided her move into the house was long overdue. The only problem? She has a few behavior issues. So, in desperation, we bought a buzzer collar (notice how I avoided the word “shock”?). Every time she indulges in her naughty behavior we make it sound off a little noise. If that doesn’t work, we then press the button to send a little buzzing nudge on her neck. Before you judge us as cruel and inhumane pet owners, try to imagine a 110 pound dog sneaking up and jumping on your back. It isn’t a pretty sight. Funny, yes. Pretty, no.

Much to our delight, she has responded wonderfully well to the collar. After a few little buzzes, she has basically learned not to do the things that cause the most damage. Chewing, jumping, rough-housing have all come to an end. As I type, she’s curled up at my feet snoring loudly. She’s loving the indoor life. And loves being part of the family again. Yeah, for Hiro. And, double yeah for super humane buzzer (shock) collars.

The other day Kai had to go potty and went into the bathroom. She stood in front of the toilet, looked me dead in the eye and said, “Hey, Mom, when I grow up can I get a line like Walker?” Not sure what she meant, I asked her to explain. “You know, a LINE. You can hold it and make it go pee in the potty. Walker has a line and I want one, too. Can I get one?”

Um…please tell me this is not something I have to worry about.

–

At Kai’s Thanksgiving party I asked her to point out her boyfriend Dylan, who I had been hearing alot about at home. But, she told me he wasn’t her boyfriend anymore.

“Why not?” I asked
“Oh, Frannie said I couldn’t have him. He’s her boyfriend.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“That’s okay, Mom. I have a girlfriend now. Her name is Gracie. She is so sweet.”

Can’t they give us a manual on how to handle these conversations?

you can do an entire load of pink clothes without even scouring the laundry baskets for clothes of the same color. At what age do we stop dressing in such “gender specific” colors? I wonder if the pink=girls and blue=boys is some socially universal convention? Or is it in other countries that green=girls and orange=boys?

I’d be curious to know…

Okay, so the other night we made a family trip to our local Publix and the only “go-go cart” available was one of the special new TV carts. So, we forked over a buck and tried it out. Oh, new TV cart, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1. Though they were entertained and not loud at all what little noise they did make was unheard because the cart was virtually sound-proof for us. The front of the cart is open, but the sound projects forward and not back to where the parents are standing.

2. The doors lock. Let me say that again, THE DOORS LOCK! That is an awesome, awesome thing! They lock in such a way as to make it impossible for the kids to unlock them on their own.

3. The obvious reason to love it, the TV. It plays Bob the Builder, Dora, or Barney depending on which cart you pick and it plays it the entire time you use the cart. It shuts off at check-out and the cart locks down five minutes after you pay for your groceries, but while you are in the store the TV keeps the kids entertained.

4. It worked. It really, really worked. We had a happy, peaceful visit to the grocery and no one left in tears…not even Thomas! : )

So, I guess I’ve decided that the pros of a happy trip to the grocery outweigh the cons of having a TV in a grocery cart. Not because it is okay to sedate our kids, but because it is good to have them happy while we drag them through the excruciatingly painful task of shopping in a busy supermarket. They are happy. We are happy. Fellow grocery shoppers are happy. How can something wrong feel so right?

The ridiculousness of my recent affection for veggies and fruit does not go unnoticed by my, in case you were wondering. But, I have to tell you about this amazing new discovery that I owe to my good friend, Brenda. There is a local company in thee area that delivers fresh local produce to people in the greater Atlanta area. Every two weeks you receive a bushel of fruit and veggies. Each delivery will be different - depending on what is in season. And it is so wonderful!

We got our first delivery last Tuesday and seeing it by the door waiting for me was like Christmas morning! In our basket we got, green beans, grapefruits, cabbage, zucchini, squash, melon, apples, scallions, avocado, potatoes, lettuce, & red peppers. For $50 they deliver two weeks worth of produce to your door and starting this week they will be offering organic produce. They’ll also throw in some homemade jam.

Okay, so before you give me the award for most boring blog ever, let me tell you what we’ve done with this basket o’ goodies. We’ve made:

-Grilled Veggie & Lettuce Salad
-Corned Beef & Cabbage Pasta
-Speck Und Bona (Dutch Ham & Green Beans)
-Grapefruit & Vinaigrette Mixed Green Salad
-Delicious (if I do say so) Apple Pie
-PB & J with the Best Homemade Mixed Berry Jam

Not to mention, countless fruit and veggie snacks for ourselves and the girls. It has encouraged us to eat healthier and more creatively, and makes us feel good about supporting local growers. Check them out at www.offthevine.com. You’ll be so happy you did!

I saw this shopping cart in Publix today that offered a Bob the Builder Tv show inside the cart. It had a tv screen inside the cage-like place for kids to sit and for $1 they kids can watch TV while you shop. My initial reaction was: AWESOME! Then, I started to weigh the long-term consequences of this invention.

Trust me, I want to grocery shop in peace as much as any parent and I am not always super picky about how I get that peace. But, the idea that TV is moving into yet another arena of everyday life is a bit disturbing. I hate to anesthetize my kids with TV every second of the day. These inventions, it seems. prey on the desperation of parents whose busy lives require them to bring their children along with them. Don’t get me wrong. I am not so pious as to say I would never be tempted to use this new grocery cart. I just don’t know if it is a good idea…

Here’s the info I found on them when I searched the web:

Publix Super Markets in Atlanta, Georgia will be testing a new high-tech shopping cart. The new TV Cart is basically for the kids, but really for everyone else visiting the store.
The idea it to keep the little ones quiet by putting them in front of yet another TV, in the actual mini shopping cart. Kids, and adults, will be delighted to see shows such as Barney, The Wiggles & Bob the Builder. The carts will be available for $1 and can be used for the length of your visit.

Guess who’s getting married? Yep, my baby sister! She and Jared got engaged on Sunday and we are all so excited for them!!